So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
