so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
