And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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