he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize