I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
