I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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