you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
