May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize