Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
