i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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