dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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