I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
