matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
