Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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