We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
