I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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