i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
