Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
