We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
