The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
