ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
