My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize