I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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