So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
