I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
