You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
