I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
