I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
