It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
