I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
