Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize