i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
