It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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