I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sarcasm needs its own font
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
