Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
