how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
