Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
God, you're like boner-b-gone
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
