Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
