I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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