so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize