Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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