Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
