go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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