Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
