I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
