The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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