you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
