would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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