Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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