Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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