You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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