we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize