We're facebook friends in real life
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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