do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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