He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
