jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
