I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
