Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Panties = found
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
