Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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